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Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm
fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your
cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet
to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to
me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed
aching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back
in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark,
I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on
the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off
your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
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Sweetheart: Your pants are
off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face.
It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you
take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them.
I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over
the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across
the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling
around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly
for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush
handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
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Sweetheart: What's the matter
now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry
hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling
my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come
on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in
your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby!
Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice.
I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my
ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in!
Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
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Sweetheart: I'm standing
up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my
willy all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind.
I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my
wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the
night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair
spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning
my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on.
My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire!
I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm
logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <logged off
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